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Well, I guess this will be my last post, as the trip is over. I've really enjoyed blogging. Who knew? Syd and I traveled over 8,000 miles together, in over 8 weeks. I got to go to Gruene Hall last night, and I couldn't think of a better welcome back to Texas. My hiking hat reverted back into my cowboy hat, and there was ice cold Shiner waiting for me after 14 hours on the road. Of course, I had ice cold Shiner in the back of the truck, but that's not as much fun as going to a honky tonk directly after crossing into Texas - home. This afternoon, I managed to unload Syd without a heat stroke, but barely. Phew, is it hot out there! It hits you like a wall every time you step outside. I realize that most of you have been dealing with this for the past two months, but I haven't. All I could think when I walked outside this morning was, "It's a rainforest! And this isn't as bad as Houston will be!". My kitties are trying to help me blog. I love my kitties! True, I had kitty friends along my trip, but it's just not the same.

Did I accomplish what I set out to accomplish? Yes. I never did make it to Joshua Tree, and barely made it to California at all, but I got to go sit in the desert, and that was my goal. I don't know exactly why I'm so drawn to the desert, except maybe that I spent half of my life drowning, and it still seems like a safe place to me, where I can breathe and where I can expand inward and outward forever, all at the same time. Except during my massage, I wore my "treasure necklace" the whole trip, the one with the beads that I got in Madrid, NM when I was with Doris a couple of years ago. That was such a healing trip. That summer, I had looked around and seen fragments of myself scattered everywhere. I became like those leftover beads, broken bits strung together into something beautiful. I carry on my body the scars of my despair, of my insanity and all those years of darkness. I carry the necklace as a reminder of my healing, a constant song of thanksgiving. Healing always continues, as I learn to live into forgiveness, and into joy. But this trip was perhaps more one of clearing, and now I get to work it out in my actual life, in the day in and day out of it all. This reassures me that the adventure has just begun.

Thank you for accompanying me on my journey. Peace and love to you all.

~ballew

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." ~Semisonic